LYNZI IRVINE: A NOTE ON SELF LOVE
Posted on 24 February 2015
What does Self Love mean to you?
Self Love means knowing who you are and loving yourself simply because you are who you are; with your strengths, weaknesses, beauty and imperfections. Self Love means your identity is not tied up in how you perform, how you look, what your job is, or even in your most significant relationships. Self Love is knowing that you are worthy of love and you are a unique expression, brining something into this world that no one else can.
Do you think Self Love is important?
WIthout self love, all of your doing will be coming from an empty place. If you live your life doing things from a place of emptiness, trying to achieve wholeness by doing, you will fail by the standards you hold yourself to. You will never be good enough, smart enough, strong enough, have the body you have always wanted, or be satisfied with your job or relationships. Self Love is important because with love as your foundation your doing will come as an overflow from a place of fullness. If you can believe and trust that you are already worthy and already loved exactly as you are today than the doing is different. Your doing from a place of Self Love, will build you and the people around you up. You will find more joy in the journey, and you will be able to be more present in your doing. The other awesome part is that when your doing is coming from a place of Self Love your are guaranteed to be happy with the results of your doing, be them physical, relational, career or otherwise.
What do you think is the most common reason for people not loving themselves?
I believe that sometimes people put "ifs" around loving themselves or really seeing themselves as someone who is worthy of love. People believe they are only worthy of love "if" they have some ideal job, relationship, body, or some other status symbol. I think this often leads to insecurity and also doing things from a place of fear. For example: If you believe that you are not worthy of love until your body looks a certain way, your physical exercise may be coming from a negative, insecure or fearful place. You may then find yourself with a guilty or anxious relationship with your fitness because if you don't achieve some standard than you are a failure and not worthy of love. This is such a sad and toxic place. You really need to start with loving yourself as you are, and then you can have some kick ass fitness goals that will be fun to pursue because you are already loved and already good enough without them.
Have you always loved your body, how did you learn to love your body?
Oh gosh of course not. I am a girl raised mostly in Southern California. I think for me, as a teenager I probably looked around and started comparing myself to other people and wishing my parts were stacked a bit differently. That said, I have always been an athlete and I think that I really am grateful and appreciate what my body can do when I put practice into something, and that helps me to love my body. Also, I have three kids and so my body has been through some changes over the past few years. With all of those changes, I think I love my body when my focus is on being thankful and amazed at its ability to do something: like OH EM GEE birth a child, be able to run a 10K faster, do a handstand, or go from not being able to touch my toes to doing the splits. The thing is, if you treat your body well, and your goals are relevant to having good health, you are going to be happy with how your body looks too.
When you're having a bad day, feeling bloated or feeling like you’re missing your glow - how do you get back on track?
I think when I am off and need to get back on track, I try to have first a healthy mindset, and then really asses what it is that is off balance. If it is sleep I may try to prioritize a nap in the day, if I need to move I will have sure to get a run or yoga session in even if the day is busy. I make sure to drink lots or water and eat well and overall not freak out, but know that I will feel back on track in a couple days if I take good care of myself.
Have your feelings of Self Love changed after becoming a mother?
I think my Self Love changed in a few ways becoming a mother. At first, the whole thing was a bit of an identity shock. I remember being tired, doubting my abilities and wondering if I would like other moms. Haha! I think after the first 6 months or so I started to feel more balanced and to begin to appreciate what I was able to be a part of in having a child. I think now my kids motivate me to love myself more because I am my best for them if I a loving myself well, and also I want to set an example for them so that they will grow up loving themselves.
Do you have a favorite thing you do to pamper yourself?
I eat great food and don't settle for just anything to fill the void. I love a pedicure and a good bath, or a nap on the beach.
When or where do you feel most happy?
Easy! Morning, noon, or night AT THE BEACH. It gives peace and makes me feel comforted. It is where my family plays. I love the beach anytime of year and have lived my whole life close to the ocean. I love the noise of the water and the vastness of the horizon.
What's your favourite thing about your body?
My favorite thing about my body is its ability to change or adapt. I think this started for me when I was 16 and had ACL surgery. My leg was so atrophied and weak and I could barely walk for a while. The whole rehabilitation process gave me such an excitement for what my body could do. That process is probably a big reason why I became a Physical Therapist. I really love that our bodies have the ability to adapt and change and accomplish awesome things. In the last two years I have been really into yoga and with that it has been fun to be able to do things that I was sure were completely impossible for my body.
Do you have a Self Love mantra or tip you can share with us?
- You are loved.
- Love brings light to dead places.
- Love heals.
- Love restores.
- Love changes everything.
- Believe you are worthy of love.
(put this on your fridge or mirror and believe it)